


Okay

by Outdoorsy



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hiatus, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:33:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21993775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Outdoorsy/pseuds/Outdoorsy
Summary: They started their last year before the hiatus and they were okay. Somehow dealing. They would be okay.
Relationships: Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho
Kudos: 21





	Okay

Sho was the last to return to their green room. All the other members had said good bye throughout the last hour and had returned to celebrate the new year with their respective families, leaving only him. His family was on holiday and he was currently not in a relationship, so he had spent the longest time with his Johnny‘s kouhais, milking their company to the last drop, but now at five in the morning the party was ending and he could no longer escape the prospect of his empty apartment. In one year time they would part ways and the thought scared him, but he was too tired to think about it. He made his way through the empty green room to pick up his bag when he noticed the shine of glass on the table. Stepping closer he made out a pair of glasses resting next to an iPhone in a black case which he was quite familiar with. Matsujun had left an hour ago, but both his phone and glasses were still here. A noise from the bathroom made Sho freeze and slowly turn his steps towards the small line of light that was escaping below the closed door. Maybe Matsumoto was not alone and Sho really didn’t feel like interrupting a snogging session, but Matsumoto had looked quite tired when he had left and he couldn’t quite imagine him putting his holy sleep at risk. Without knocking Sho tried the door knob and with a small screech the door swung open, spilling white light into the green room. His eyes needed a few seconds to adjust to the brightness, but then he saw a human figure kneeling next to the toilet. One of his arms rested on the toilet seat, his forehead touching the cool porcelain. He didn’t move when Sho stepped closer, only jerking awake when he touched his shoulder. 

„Hey,“ Sho asked softly as he crouched down next to Matsumoto. „You ok?“

„Sho-san!“ Matsumoto smiled weakly. „I didn’t know you were still here. Today was pretty perfect, wasn’t it?“ 

He was ignoring Sho’s question, trying to act as if there was nothing wrong with him sitting on the floor of the bathroom. 

„It was.“ Sho smiled softly and tried to wind his arm around his shoulders. „But I think we should both go home. I’m sure your family is waiting.“

Matsumoto shrugged him of and leaned over the toilet, gagging. After a few dry heaves he sat back and ran a tired hand over his face.

„What about your family?“

„On holidays in the US.“ Sho tried again. „Can you stand?“

Matsumoto’s hand felt cold and clammy to the touch. His face was somewhere in between ghostly white and grey, the dark violet bags below his eyes a stark contrast against his skin. He looked as if he was about to keel over even while already sitting on the floor. 

„When was the last time you slept?“ Sho asked carefully while sneaking a hand around Matsumoto’s waist. He only shrugged and weakly pushed against the hand resting on his hip. „I’m fine, Sho-kun.“ He didn’t have the strength to resist when Sho pulled him away from the toilet bowl and guided his head to rest against Sho’s shoulder. 

„Let’s go home.“ But Matsumoto shook his head and for the first time his eyes looked like he was about to cry. „I just want to stay here. This is probably the last Countdown before...“ He swallowed against the tears blocking his throat. „This year is going to be a lot of last times. All I’m asking for is to let this last a little longer.“

Sho guided him into his arms but left it to Jun to close the distance and hug him. He was trembling when he did and hot tears started seeping through the fabric of Sho’s shirt. 

„Arashi was my dream and I’m not ready to wake up just now.“ Jun whispered and Sho was not sure if he had planned to say this out loud.

It was rare to see him like this. He knew that their hiatus was hitting Jun hard, but he had always stood with their leader, putting his own feelings last. Jun tightened the hug and Sho felt his heart break. Jun had never been the one seeking body contact, shying away from almost all touches, who had taken years to accept fan service from the other members, but here he was, clinging to Sho as if he needed to hold on to him to assure him that he was still here. 

With a sigh Sho rested his hand on Jun’s head, tousling his hair. 

„Let’s get you home.“

He didn’t really have comforting words to offer, but Jun allowed him to pull him upright, though in the end he was leaning heavily on Sho.

When they were halfway trough the room, almost at the sofa Jun squeezed his eyes shut and started leaning against Sho a little more.

„I feel dizzy.“ He admitted in a quiet voice and Sho only managed to manhandle him to the sofa before his legs gave out. 

To be honest, he had not planned starting the new year like this, but his mothering instincts were kicking in and he lifted Jun‘s legs to improve the blood flow to his head. They were all used to Matsujun overdoing stuff, but right now he also seemed to be emotionally tired. Sho grabbed Matsumoto‘s bag and pulled out the bottle of lukewarm sparkling water, uncapped it and poured some into a cup he then placed against Matsumoto’s lips. 

„I’m sorry!“ Matsumoto apologized with his eyes still closed. At least he was conscious. 

„It’s fine. You can rest soon. Let me get you home first. Can you stand?“

Matsumoto had finished the cup of water and was slowly struggling to sit up again. 

„I think so...“ He swung his legs down and cradled his head in his hand. Sho knew better than to ask what had happened. He knew it all too well and had been watching Matsumoto closely throughout the evening. He had stopped after one flute of champagne- this was all stress related and it was in moments like these that Sho wondered if they had made the choice to take a break too late. Or maybe it had been too early. There was never the right time and now that the decision had been made they had to live with it. While he had been stuck in his thoughts Matsujun had struggled to his feet and now grabbed for Sho’s shoulder to stabilize himself. A few years ago Matsujun would not have touched him like this and Sho felt his heart swell with pride and love that he now allowed himself to show weakness in front of him. By now Jun was sporting red blotches on his cheek, giving courtesy to the fever he was developing. Sho waved down a taxi and named him the address of the building next to his. As soon as they sat down in the back Jun slumped against his shoulder and sighed. His tears had dried but Sho could see, that he was not okay just now. They didn’t make small talk and only when Jun was resting in his bed, he spoke again. „Stay?“ He asked and Sho climbed into bed with him, pulling him against his chest and nuzzling his nose against Jun’s hair, more than happy to oblige.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short something I wrote on my phone (I’m on holiday), so please excuse the formatting (and all other) errors ;)


End file.
